1. Get yourself some freshly picked strawberries.
2. Pour some heavy cream into a ceramic bowl. I’d recommend about an eighth or quarter of a cup for every day you’ve been sick.
3. Use an electric mixer to beat the cream until it is almost perfect.
4. Pause to add a little vanilla and sugar.
5. Resume beating until the cream is perfect. If you overwhip the cream, it will be dry and sad and you might as well start over.
6. Wash, hull, and slice up the strawberries.
7. Throw the sliced up strawberries in the bowl with the whipped cream.
8. Stir gently. You can stop when the whipped cream starts to turn a little pink.
9. Eat it all before anyone else figures out what you’re up to.