“I just open my eyes, remember who I am, what I’m like, and I go, ‘Oh. Aw, I guess. I guess. Do it. I don’t know. I guess.’”
-Louis C.K. on waking up in the morning, Louie (season 1, episode 3, “Dr. Ben/Nick”)
For years I’ve been insisting that it’s not that I’m not a morning person.
But it is that. Exactly that. I am not a morning person.
I am in awe of people who wake up and immediately go perform some higher-level function like working out, some of them without even eating or drinking anything, not even coffee. If I get out of bed and try to immediately take a shower–a relatively simple activity I’ve been doing daily for decades–I get all lost in the middle. I find myself standing there in the spray like I just woke up then, with no idea what’s going on. Did I shampoo? Is it time for soap? I have no clue.
Most mornings, I wake up and spend some time lying in bed wondering if I’m awake. When I’ve decided I’m awake, I try to remember what day it is and what I’m supposed to be doing.
This can take a while.
One thing about being a director is that I kind of have to be really on as soon as I hit the building. I need to be able to deal with whatever’s going on and still smile and say good morning to everyone like everything’s going great. Sometimes problems become clear to me before I even get out of the car, like the day the sidewalk exploded or that day the tree was rolling around in the parking lot.
I think I’ve been coping with this pretty well, although I notice that some staff members will ask me if I’m on my first or second mug of coffee before they ask me questions in the morning. I imagine they’ve caught on that they’re going to get a more coherent answer after the second mug.
And I think I’m okay with that.