Tammy was visiting here tonight and mentioned that she was going to stop on her way home to pick up some chocolate chip cookies. I didn’t like the thought of her eating store-bought cookies, so I spent half the evening baking cookies while listening to Tammy read me descriptions of houses we might rent for our summer vacation this year. Because now that I’ve gone on a couple trips, I can’t seem to stop planning more of them.
We identified a few house possibilities and ate some cookies (which were delicious), and then it was time for Tammy to go. I grabbed some trash that had to go out to the curb and followed her on her way out, talking about how dismayed I’ve been lately about my cornucopia of personal flaws.
“What flaws?” Tammy asked, incredulous.
“I can’t maintain a normal relationship,” I said.
“Oh, you can,” she said. “Just depends on how you define it.”
“Well, I can’t seem to clean off my desk at work, and it’s really starting to bother me.”
“Is this because I sent you that picture of my desk all clean that one day?”
“No.”
“Because a clean desk is a sign of insanity.”
By now, we were outside. It’s worth noting that I was wearing my big brown boots, pink pajama pants, a ratty old t-shirt, and my bathrobe–right in full view of all the people eating in the fancy restaurant in the hotel across the street from my apartment, which it took me not a month of living here to stop caring about. I regard the porch, sidewalks, and driveway almost like they’re hallways inside the house.
“I just feel like I’m not on top of everything, and I’m supposed to be on top of everything,” I said.
At this point, Tammy may have rolled her eyes, so I kept talking.
“And, you know, I’m just stressing out about not being able to do everything perfectly, which I know I’m not supposed to even do, which means I can’t even not be a perfectionist right. And that’s really bad.”
At this point, Tammy started laughing. Really loud, too. Take that, people eating in the fancy restaurant.
“Shut up!” I said. “I’m serious.”
Tam was still laughing when she got in her truck.
“I want you to know that I am not sharing any of these cookies with Lucas,” she said.
“All right!” I said, throwing her a couple fist pumps. “That’ll teach him.”
Then I went inside and wrote down our conversation.
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You know, I recently uncovered a two inch thick folder labeled READ! that had fallen behind some books on one of my bookcases at home. When I opened it and looked through the contents, there were professional journals, newsletters, a memo from the County Finance Director, a rather lengthy email from the State Library and a whole bunch of other “important” stuff, all dated 2011. Not only had this stuff been hidden behind my books for almost 2 years, guess what? Nothing bad happened because I didn’t read this stuff. The really important stuff will always find its way to the top of the pile and you’ll get it done…when it needs to be done. There is never a day I go home thinking, Hey! I’m finished. That’s kind of what keeps me coming back for more!
I stand by my statements. It’s funny to say that since I gave that advice to someone today. I’m excited about the summer vacation & I did not share the cookies, he didn’t deserve them since he’s turned into one of those rotten teenagers now. Hopefully he’ll unrot by our vacation.
We need to build sand castles & make videos while we’re on vacation. And READ, lots of READING!! And cooking, and…well everything.
That makes me feel better, Patty, and I know you’re right. I was able to keep my desk under control from the time I started the new job until some time in December, and it’s been frustrating not being able to get it more under control again. But I know, too, that it’s because I’ve undertaken a lot of worthwhile projects, and we’re actually getting somewhere with a lot of them, but they take time.
Tammy also told me I have to eat the elephant one bite at a time, which is this new thing she’s been quoting for a couple months now. She’s gotten a little zen lately.
Tam, I know–I’m so excited about vacation, too! I quite agree about the sand castles and videos and reading and cooking. If Lu’s being a snot, maybe we can lock him in the smallest bedroom in the guest wing or something.
Also I clear off my desk everyday just to scare people. That & who knows if there will be vomiting in the night & a substitute in my room the next day & I don’t like people touching my stuff. So clearly it’s just insanity & self-preservation.
I guess if we’re both mentally unstable, it’s all fine.
Don’t worry, I’m a perfectanist too
I mean a perfictanist!
Oh, Kevin! You always make me feel better!
Hey. I just created a new word. Per-fiction-ist. Pobody’s nerfect!
This is perfect weather to think about summer vacation:)
*snort*
This entire exchange makes me laugh out loud.
I like “per-fiction-ist,” we could say that is somebody who excels at “story-ing” and I have several of those everyday.
http://www.jonathannewton.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/cnhVerbingWeirdsLanguage.gif
Left my desk a mess two months ago when I left in the middle of the day to go talk to an a lady about working with their after-school program. I will attempt to clean that up and who knows what else when I finally make it back there on Monday. Oh well.
Pat, I made a concentrated effort to clean off my desk yesterday because it was a little quieter than usual due to the snow, but alas it was not meant to be. It’s better, but not quite where I want it.