Conversations with Maxwell

Me: Did you know that I wrote a book?
Maxwell: Of course you did.  You own a library, and you are intelligent.

The world in Maxwell’s head works somewhat differently than the world outside his head. Speaking of which, earlier in the evening, he was sitting in the back seat quietly chanting, “Frodo. Gollum. Lord of the Rings.”

So it seems that we’re getting some good stuff in there.

He also told us of his intention to build a school when he grows up, “after I quit my first few jobs.” Apparently he wants this school to be “a place where children learn.”

Crazy kid.

The Best Film of 2012 and The Best Films of the Aughts

Once again, Film Club has descended into the male members demonstrating their affection for one another through insults. Lisa popped in to contribute to our latest discussion, which I’ll be getting to way at the end of this post, and we had an even rarer visit from Tara. Lisa and Tara tried to interject sanity into Film Club, but, sadly, sanity is not what rules Film Club.

Before I get to the task everyone’s been harassing me about, I want to show you what I expect to be the number one film on every Film Club member’s Best of 2012 list. I know the whole cast of this film, although, most notably, Lucas is featured in it, as the dude in the hard hat. Maxwell also makes an appearance; you’ll see him in a crowd scene holding a sign that says “BIRD KILLERS GO HOME” and shouting his fool head off. I make an appearance in the same crowd scene, although, as is so often the case in my daily life, you can’t see me because I am covered up by a protest sign.

This film will be screening at the 90-Second Newbery Film Festival in NYC on December 2. I move on December 1. I’m trying to figure out how I can do both things in one weekend without acquiring additional superpowers. For you locals, there will be a screening here in Rochester at the end of the month. I’ll be posting details.

All right, and fine, John, I’ll post my Best of 2000-2009 list. Before I do, though, I have to say that I was a little flip in my choices and so have been eager to post them, if only to get John and possibly other Film Club members riled up by things like my capricious inclusion of three Will Ferrell films. I realized after I made my list that I neglected some important films (like No Country for Old Men, which would have been in my top five had I remembered it), but unlike rulebreakers Arthur and Ben, I didn’t change my list after I submitted it. So here it is in all its disorganized glory:

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
Moulin Rouge!
Big Fish
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Up in the Air
28 Days Later
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Bowling for Columbine
Lost in Translation
Hurt Locker
It Might Get Loud
Inglourious Basterds
Finding Nemo
Tropic Thunder
Bridget Jones’s Diary
The Others
Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Little Miss Sunshine
Stranger Than Fiction
The Ring
Bubba Ho-Tep
Grizzly Man

Quotable Tammy

In the midst of a sentence in a phone conversation the other night, Tammy shouted, “THE PIRATE MONKEY BOTTOMS WERE WITH THE PIRATE MONKEY TOP! GO PUT THEM ON!!!”

I don’t think she was talking to me, but I can’t be sure. When she starts yelling, I usually just agree with her.

Eighth Grade, First Grade, and Other Big Changes

First Grade

First Grade

Second Grade

Second Grade

Third Grade

Fourth Grade

Fifth Grade

Sixth Grade

Seventh Grade and Kindergarten


Eighth Grade and First Grade

Eighth Grade and First Grade

Tammy took this photo, as I am no longer taking the kids to school in the mornings. It’s part of all the Big Life Changes I’ve been going through. It’s what needed to happen–for me, anyway, and they’ll be fine–but wow I felt weird about it this morning while I was passing kids at their bus stops on my own way to work.

Also, doesn’t that haircut make Maxwell kind of look like Eddie Munster?

I Told the Boys to Look Like They Were Having a Dam Good Time, and This is What They Did

I Told the Boys to Look Like They Were Having a Dam Good Time, and This is What They Did

We made a lot of dam jokes that day, so many that at one point Maxwell became frustrated with Tammy and I laughing so much and shouted, “I AM SICK OF YOUR DAM JOKES!”

Which made us laugh for about ten minutes straight, during which Maxwell mostly growled at us.

We learned a lot about engineering and turkey vultures and history and stuff, too. Of course, some of this was also funny, like the satellite prominently positioned behind this historical marker:

I Won't Tell You How Long We Drove Around Looking for This, But It Was Educational

Way to ruin the mood.

Conversations with Maxwell

Max: Adrienne, what does “director” mean again?
Me: It means I’m in charge of everything. I know that sounds like something I’d make up, but in this case, it’s true.
Tammy, under her breath: That does sound like something you’d make up.
Max: So if you want a pizza, you can be like, “HEY, YOU! GET ME A PIZZA!” And someone will get you a pizza?
Me: …