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April 15, 2006
Queen Amidala’s Diary, The Prequel, Part 1
Long Time Ago
Naboo
calories: 1320, alcohol units: 2, cans hair spray: 1, winning lotto numbers: 0
I swear. I asked for a wash-and-wear haircut, and *this* is what I got. One of these days I’m just going to shave it all off. Show them. “Tradition, tradition, tradition, blah, blah, blah.”
Whatever.
If I didn’t have to spend four freaking hours having my hair and makeup done every day, maybe I could concentrate on this deal with the Trade Federation. The whole thing’s a total bummer. First off, and I know I’m not supposed to think like this being a queen and all, but the Viceroy of the Trade Federation? Ug-ly. The sooner I can stop talking to him, the better. But I can’t even figure out why they’re blockading the planet. I mean, HELLO, we’re NABOO. We hardly even do any trading. All I care about is getting a regular stock of Cherry Garcia and Peanut M&M’s, and, seriously, if they’re going to make such a big deal about it, I’m sure I can pay someone to smuggle it in. Problem solved.
You know, I think I hear blaster fire. This can’t be good. I need another drink.
[Queen Amidala's Diary, The Prequel, Part 2]
Posted by adrienne at April 15, 2006 01:06 AM
Comments
Unfortunately, I think we all hear blaster fire in the background.
I don't like to be a pessimist, but stuff’s not right with the world. The business I’m in thrives off of fear. And business is good right now.
Posted by: chuck at April 14, 2006 11:32 PM
You are just now figuring out that things aren't right with the world? Things haven't been right with the world since George Bush took office. Now we're going to go to war with Iran and that will certainly solve all our ills.
Posted by: Jeffrey Lee at April 15, 2006 10:25 AM
And yes, your business is all about negativity and fear. It's about making things that kill other people who someone percieves to be a threat. Or at least analyzing what those people are up to so as to be prepared to fight back when they attack you. It's not terribly surprising that you are affected by that kind of energy.
Posted by: Jeffrey Lee at April 15, 2006 10:28 AM
Sorry, none of those comments really address the most important issue this blog entry has raised: Queen Amidala's drinking problem. Who knew, behind all the wild hair and elaborate outfits, was a tearful, raging alcholoic. Poor thing.
Posted by: Jeffrey Lee at April 15, 2006 11:01 AM
Strangely, Queen Amidala's drinking problem doesn't surprise me at all. Look at what that poor woman had to tolerate. I think we may be learning more of the truth behind her sad, poorly-developed existence before too long....
Posted by: adrienne at April 15, 2006 11:04 AM
did you pull a transforming Chuck and un-post a couple of days?
Posted by: chuck at April 20, 2006 07:09 PM
Chuck, the fact that nothing is happening on your blog has less to do with technical problems and more with the fact that you've simply stopped doing anything with it. What's going on?
Posted by: Jeffrey Lee at April 20, 2006 08:28 PM
True, but have been known to pull entries and repost them later.
Posted by: chuck at April 20, 2006 09:12 PM