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September 17, 2007
Maybe I’ve Been Spending Too Much Time Watching Heroes
Remember how I had my allergies retested a few months ago? Well, last week, I began the shots that are eventually supposed to make me more like normal people whose immune systems aren’t always trying to kill them. I don’t know what that is like, but it sounds like a good idea.
One of my worst allergies, it turns out, is to roaches. It’s hard for me to believe that a roach allergy isn’t something that should be considered functional and normal, but my allergist disagrees. One of the shots I’m being given is designed to combat this roach allergy. Put another way, I am currently paying $20 a week to be injected with ground-up roach.
Gross.
This is where I went wrong. When you go to the allergist, they give you a questionnaire to fill out. It’s full of lifestyle stuff, the sorts of things you may or may not do that would have an impact on your allergies and their potential treatment. The questions seem straightforward and innocent enough.
Here is my advice to you: tell those people NOTHING they do not need to know. Otherwise, you, too, might find yourself driving to Brighton and paying $20 a week to be shot up with roach. It was the series of questions about travel that did me in. I confessed to having particular difficulty with my allergies when I travel, and I revealed that past and upcoming trips included major cities like Washington, Boston, New York, and Chicago. When my allergist told me he wanted to treat my roach allergy, I got all, “Why? I don’t need that. There aren’t roaches in my house.” That’s when he got all, “The roach allergy is why you’re having trouble when you travel.” He’s probably right. The roaches are what made my arm swell up when I had my tests done, but still. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
On the bright side, I like to think that in the event of a nuclear attack, the roach goo will bond with my DNA, turning me into Roach Girl: The Only Human Who Can Survive Nuclear Fallout. It could also come in handy if someone tries to poison me. You can never be too careful.
Posted by adrienne at September 17, 2007 04:14 PM
Comments
Oh, Adrienne, you're not going to like the sound of this. I had a friend once who had an allergy problem and went to the doctor. Worked through the various tests, answered the questionnaire, same conclusion.
The difference was she didn't travel BUT she had a fondness for chocolate. If your squeamishness factor is high then read no further and delete the comment. It's okay, I'll understand.
He doctor looked over her diet and discovered she ate chocolate daily. When they cut the chocolate out of her diet the allergy went away. But the tests for chocolate came up negative and she was confused. Apparently (here it comes) the cocoa beans from Central and South American are often shipped in cargo containers to various international processing facilities with roach eggs attached. Some are born and feed and escape processing and some do not. The trace amount of roaches in cocoa powder isn't something most processors worry about but it's enough that often a chocolate allergy is actually a hidden roach allergy, as my friend discovered.
No, I haven't stopped eating chocolate. It hasn't given me any allergies. Yet.
Posted by: david e at September 17, 2007 05:57 PM
Okay, this is where the scientist in me says "Ground roach shots? So very cool." The immune system is an amazing thing! And as for your super hero alter ego? I think roach girl is rather cool too.
Posted by: Tricia at September 17, 2007 06:26 PM
David, NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I knew this about the roaches and the chocolate, but I never added up that this could be a problem for my allergies.
Suddenly $20 a week seems perfectly reasonable. Yes, let's treat that roach allergy.
Tricia, I have to confess that I find the whole thing a little cool, too. My doctor is basically trying to teach my immune system that it doesn't need to freak out about things like roaches and dust. It's amazing to think that my immune system can, in theory, be taught.
Posted by: adrienne at September 17, 2007 09:29 PM
The fact that it bothers you most when you travel is a little scary. I'm not sure I want to stay in a hotel room with you again, if your allergies start acting up. That might mean there were roaches. Ick ick ick! Of course, there is your dust allergy, too, so maybe I'll just keep saying to myself, "well, this room *is* rather dusty..." Then I'll try to sleep soundly. ;)
Posted by: Olivia at September 17, 2007 11:02 PM
I wonder if Adrienne could learn a lesson or two from her immune system...? In theory, of course.
Posted by: jp at September 18, 2007 12:00 AM
Hmm.... Xmas is on its way. I just bought a gift for Olivia, and after reading this, I KNOW what I'm getting you.
Muah ha ha ha!
Posted by: Sabrina at September 18, 2007 12:47 PM
"Roach Girl: The Only Human Who Can Survive Nuclear Fallout"
I am so going to write that book and make it into a 25 volume comic book. Of course, you will get some of the gratuity Adrienne! On the other hand, who but me wants to read a comic book about a half human half roach girl super hero? Maybe I'll get a big boy cult following! :)
BTW, Do you know what happens when 35 teenagers, most of whom are in 10th and 11th grade (and you know what that means) play Guitar Hero at the library?... well you'll just have to wait until the next episode to find out!
Posted by: Cathy at September 18, 2007 06:37 PM
Olivia, See? I already have superpowers--roach radar.
Jason, You're lucky I don't kick your ass.
Sabrina, Presents! :)!!!
Cathy, I'd read that comic book, and I'm even more interested to see what happens when 35 LIBRARIANS play Guitar Hero on Friday....
Posted by: adrienne at September 18, 2007 08:06 PM
Oh, the miracles of modern medicine. Just think, Adrienne, in earlier times you'd have actually had to EAT the roaches in order to overcome your allergies.
Just kidding. Still, Blackadder II comes to mind where Sir Edmund Blackadder goes to the apocathary and has to dissolve two leaches under his tongue.
Posted by: Alkelda at September 18, 2007 09:34 PM
Sorry, but after reading this repeatedly...I have to laugh...all I see is Adrienne in some back alley way, looking through dumpsters for roaches, squishing them into syringes and shooting up...lmao...you rock Adrienne... :)
Posted by: Kristen at September 18, 2007 09:35 PM
Oh dear -- I'd trade in that superpower for a new one. Like the ability to apparate or disapparate. Now *that* would be cool. :)
Posted by: Olivia at September 18, 2007 10:35 PM
Lucas still thinks you are the coolest person on the planet and the roach shots upped your stats with him at least.
Librarians, guitar hero, I definitely have the wrong job.
Posted by: tonderdo at September 19, 2007 11:10 PM
Okay, I'm very late to this conversation, but: for serious, dude? ROACH allergy?
You see, I have a phobia of roaches, and I'm a bit baffled as well as grossed out now.
My condolences . . .
Posted by: Jules at September 20, 2007 09:02 PM
Didn't want to know about the roach eggs in chocolate. Nope. No siree. Can't even think about it.
Posted by: eisha at September 23, 2007 08:53 PM