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November 25, 2007
“And the Funny Thing Is It Has No End,” or Curious George Visits the Webster Public Library and Never Freaking Leaves
One day five years ago, back when I was still the newest librarian at WPL, a guy came into the library and told me how his children had outgrown this big Curious George stuffed animal he’d gotten from one of the stores in Midtown when it closed and asked me if I wanted it for the library.
“Sure,” I said. “Bring it in.”
Five years later, here we are:
Today, I nurse a hatred for this particular incarnation of Curious George that borders on something irrational. I realized I’d crossed a line when my hopes that someday old George would sustain an injury so grievous that we’d have to throw him out recently turned into fantasies about inflicting said injury myself. With a pocketknife. I was considering a lateral slash across the back of his head. I don’t think anyone could fix that.
Why do I hate George so much? Just for starters, he doesn’t have enough stuffing, so he always looks like he’s drunk and doing something lewd, which is one of the reasons I relegated him to the back corner of the room a couple weeks after his arrival. I also put him back there because the children love him, and they most frequently express this love by jumping on George and screaming. Now, I am all for letting kids be kids, but one has to draw the line somewhere.
George also smells—bad, like an amalgam of the snot and dirty diapers and spit and sweat that have been his constant companions these past five years.
I tried to get rid of the germ-ridden disease machine a few years ago, but I wound up caving to everyone complaining about it and brought him back. WHY DID I DO THAT? I ask myself this all the time. It was the second-dumbest thing I’ve ever done at WPL. The first? Saying I’d take him in the first place.
Lesson painfully learned.
Posted by adrienne at November 25, 2007 11:15 AM
Comments
I wonder if George is curious about your true feelings about him. He tends to look brain dead sitting in his corner,but one never really knows. However, if you haven't actually shown up in hockey mask with a chain saw, perhaps he actually doesn't know:-O ! At any rate, a spin in a dryer on a very low heat setting will at least take care of the dust problem. I have a steam cleaner for stains & mites. The larger issue is, of course, intelligent design verses survival of the fittest. This is NO reference to the oddly still currently raging debate about school curriculum. This is obviously personal. Curiously personal. Very interesting. BTW,I also want to play in that Enoch Pratt place. Love ya!
Posted by: momster at November 25, 2007 11:31 AM
Our library has one of these too! And, a Clifford. They do look like drunks slumped in the corner.
Still, that's one of the cutest photos I've ever seen and at least it's a good story. Twisted picture book material?
Posted by: Kelly at November 25, 2007 11:38 AM
LOL. Wouldn't THAT make a great headline: Librarian Goes Ape, Dismembers Literary Icon.
He really isn't cheery, though, is he? Monkeys aren't supposed to slump.
Posted by: Sara at November 25, 2007 12:01 PM
Momster, I do this dryer trick occasionally with our stuffed animals at WPL, but I think George might be too big even for the extra-big dryers at the laundromat. Plus, as you note, my hatred makes me disinclined to do anything to help him.
Kelly, Oh, no--a Clifford, too?!? I'd be out of my mind. Thanks for the props on the picture. Jeffrey took the photo when he was doing my publicity shots last spring. He kept telling me to try to look sternly at CG, but I kept laughing.
Sara, I should be so lucky to get big press like that. The interesting thing about George is that several people have added stuffing to him, but it doesn't help. He might sit up straighter for a day or two, but then we're back to Slumpsville. It's like he has a black hole in there sucking the stuffing away bit by bit.
Posted by: adrienne at November 25, 2007 12:24 PM
As an old school librarian who dispatched the fabric and fuzzy pillows and sit-up-ons like from the school library in favor of vinyl whistle chairs, I can only shudder and recall the lice outbreaks that run through grade levels at certain times...
George, it's been grand to know you. Buh-bye.
Posted by: Camille at November 25, 2007 12:41 PM
Sell him on E-bay...bet you could make a killing....then use the money towards those fancy shelves you wanted....just a suggestion...hmmmm....lol
Posted by: Kristen at November 25, 2007 02:04 PM
Maybe George IS drunk and doing something inappropriate.He really does look a bit--odd.I couldn't be trusted steaming him clean either.Just the thought of lice!Lions!And tigers!And bears!Oh my!
Posted by: momster at November 25, 2007 02:09 PM
I think you should start dressing him in a fedora and trench coat and leave a few bottles of Nighttrain in paper bags lying around him. Maybe someone would take notice how skeevy he is. Toss in a few porno mags too.
Posted by: Jeffrey Lee at November 25, 2007 02:15 PM
If George was going to cause diseases I believe he would have by now. He has been occupying his corner for quite some time. And while I have never buried my head in his matted fur, I have yet to notice him smelling when I stand nearby, unless it's of Jack Daniels. But that's only on Mondays.
I think that Adrienne's unabashed hatred towards him is clouding her judgment. The children absolutely love George, and I think that justifies anything suspicious he might be doing after hours at the library.
Maybe George is even an angel unawares, answering our prayers and protecting us from evil...
Posted by: jp at November 25, 2007 05:30 PM
Camille, I like the way you think.
Kristen, I *really* like the way you think--no George *and* money for my shelves, perfect!
Mom, I think you'd get hives looking at him.
Jeffrey, Terri tends to stay out of children's department affairs, but I think she'd step in on that plan. To her credit, she supports my desire to get rid of George.
Jason, I think you have no idea how much I really hate that thing.
Posted by: adrienne at November 25, 2007 10:00 PM
I'm beginning to...
Posted by: jp at November 25, 2007 10:13 PM
Jason, However, your comment did make me laugh. I forgot to mention that.
Posted by: adrienne at November 25, 2007 10:22 PM
I've got to tell you, George has nothing on the motheaten, bedraggled giant stuffed bear I stumbled upon hidden away in the Processing Dept. in Rundel. Skeevy squared. Next time you're here, I'll introduce you!
Posted by: Patty at November 26, 2007 04:44 PM
Maybe you could give George away for SRP 2008!
Posted by: Lori at November 26, 2007 06:00 PM
Lori, *THAT* would teach those kids. ;)
Patty, Ew. You saved it?
Posted by: adrienne at November 26, 2007 09:14 PM
Wow Patty, I remember Li-beary from my first employment period with MCLS. Hint: it was before I had kids and Kristen was 23 in August. He used to travel from library to library. He's really still around?
Posted by: Pat at November 26, 2007 09:25 PM
For the record, both Jason and George like their home at the Webster Public Library and have no intentions of leaving any time soon.
Posted by: jp at November 26, 2007 11:55 PM
Adrienne, be strong. Kill him and hide the body. It's the only answer for the sake of your sanity.
Please. As a public service.
Posted by: Robin Brande at November 27, 2007 09:34 PM
Pat, "Li-beary"! How cute!
Jason, It's nice to get some reassurance on that, since you left a job announcement out at the Gazebo last night. Sadly, it wasn't a job in a zoo for George.
Robin, If only, if only. Aside from the fact that Jason seems solidly against this idea (which I don't understand, since I know he doesn't hate me), enough of my other coworkers read this blog that I would have serious trouble covering up my crime. Everyone would know I did it.
Posted by: adrienne at November 27, 2007 09:58 PM
Adrienne--Contract killer?
Posted by: Pat at November 28, 2007 01:30 PM
I know someone who could help you out...
Posted by: tonderdo at November 28, 2007 11:00 PM