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February 04, 2009
Anniversaries and Surprises
This past weekend, I spent an evening with friends, having dinner and playing games. I also got to spend some time with my friends’ kids, who I don’t see nearly enough. They are precious to me for a lot of reasons, one of which is because their daughter, Kate, was born not quite two weeks before my husband died, a little spot of happiness in a dark time.
Today, Kate is four and a half, energetic and bright. She was upstairs when I got there on Saturday, and she bopped down and up the stairs a few times before she settled on down and presented me with a card. An index card, to be exact, decorated with Christmas stickers. While I was exclaiming over the different stickers the way I do when children give me this sort of thing, Kate sidled over to her mother and whispered in her ear.
I gave her mother the eyebrow what.
“She says she wrote you a message on the back.”
So I flipped the card and, indeed, there were lines, scrawls that reminded me of the very best writing Max knew in Bunny Cakes by Rosemary Wells.
“Will you read it for me?” I asked Kate.
“I can’t,” said Kate, one hand in front of her mouth. “It’s a surprise.”
Hanging out with this child who is as old as my grief, it’s hard not to feel like Kate’s done a little more with her time than I have. She’s learned to walk and talk and write her name and give guests nice gifts when they come to her house. She beat me at BINGO. She’s also arguably better at the Disney trivia game than I am. Most of the time, I feel like I’m just starting to get the hang of daily life, simple stuff, like getting up in the morning. That’s the thing about kids, though, one of the reasons I work with them—they are a constant reminder of everything that’s possible in this world. And so I’m keeping that index card pinned up next to my desk now, scrawl side out.
So I don’t forget.
Posted by adrienne at February 4, 2009 10:40 PM
Comments
Thanks for posting this, Adrienne.
I hope you know how deeply we all appreciate how much incredible value you have created for our community and for our kids. Maybe we don't say it enough. We should.
Posted by: Deb at February 5, 2009 08:21 AM
And don't you know there's a whole, entire world in those scrawlings of hers, even though we adults might have to spend some time deciphering it.
Thank the heavens for Kate. I'm glad she's in your life.
Posted by: jules at February 5, 2009 09:29 AM
Thanks for sharing this with us. I am so sorry for your loss. You are so right. Kids are amazing and that reminder to go go go.
Posted by: Cheryl at February 5, 2009 09:46 AM
P.S.
To Deb, Who Left the First Comment:
I often wish our public library had an Adrienne as children's librarian. Really. You all are very lucky, indeed.
Jules, Who Keeps Doing Initial Caps Today For Effect WhatIsUpWithThat I'mGettingOnMyOwnNerves
Posted by: jules at February 5, 2009 09:48 AM
Oh, I love the idea of a secret message in the swirls. This argues for secret messages in frosting swirls as well.
I'm so glad you have a Kate. Everyone needs one, if only to remind us, as you said, of what worlds can be accomplished in such a short amount of time...
Posted by: Tanita at February 5, 2009 11:09 AM
I haven't gotten to spend as much time with Kate *or* her brother as I would like. I have this vow to start traveling less, and this is one reason why. These people here at home are important. :)
Deb, Thank you! If I had a personal motto, it would have to do with making life a little more livable for as many people as I can.
Jules, If only you were closer!
Cheryl, Thanks for reading!
Tanita, We've had a mind meld because I was COMPLETELY thinking about baking a cake tonight. I will let you know if the frosting has anything to say.
Posted by: adrienne at February 5, 2009 05:32 PM
This is one of my favorite posts of yours. I didn't say anything when you first posted it, because I was kind of preserving the moment for myself by not blabbering on too loudly and just letting it sink in.
But I shared the post via Google Reader, and now that I have that "sharing" box on my blog, I'm reminded of it a lot and I smile. Kate is giving to us all.
Posted by: Sara at February 8, 2009 11:00 AM
Thanks, Sara! I read most blogs in Bloglines, which can be a disadvantage sometimes. That Google Reader sidebar-sharing thing is so cool. Sometimes I think about converting to Google Reader, but then I remember the dishes or whatever and do that instead. I don't know which-a-way to turn a lot of times lately, there are just so darned many things I want to do.
Posted by: adrienne at February 8, 2009 07:09 PM