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May 13, 2009
Remember to Smile
Today I finally watched one of the two storytimes we taped this past November to air on the public access station in Webster and which have been running every Saturday morning at 9:30 for months now. I've had quite a number of people tell me how much they've enjoyed the storytimes-sometimes they tell me they've taped them or they say to their children, "Look! It's Miss A! Remember her from the TV?"
I've found this somewhat disconcerting given that I hadn't seen either of the storytimes myself and generally prefer not to think about them. I seldom consent to be taped for anything, and when I encounter one of the few recordings of myself that are out there, I react like I'm watching a really scary movie. I cover my eyes, plug my ears, and maybe run from the room. I think what made me sit and watch today was the fact that I couldn't stand not knowing what other people were seeing.
It wasn't nearly as horrifying as I expected.
I expected to be preoccupied with my voice or how I looked or if I did something people might make fun of, but what captured my attention was how darned cheerful I was. I seemed friendly and relaxed and like I was having a fantastic time-which I was if by "having a fantastic time" you mean "barely suppressing the stress-induced nausea." The entire time we were taping, I kept a loop of "Remember to smile. Remember to smile. Remember to smile." running in the back of my mind. I wouldn't have thought smiles I had to tell myself to make could look so genuine.
Far from horrifying me, watching the recording was kind of encouraging. I liked the way I came across. I realized, too, that I can fool people. I remember when we taped thinking that I did an okay job but that probably my nervousness was going to be glaringly obvious, but it wasn't. I'm not sure this makes me all that much less nervous at the thought of watching the storytime I still haven't seen or the thought of the two storytimes we'll be taping to add to the rotation in a couple weeks. But I think it will be easier to remember to smile. It will at least seem worth the effort.
Posted by adrienne at May 13, 2009 09:00 PM
Comments
Oh, YAY!!!!!! It's always so awesome to see yourself outside of yourself and realize, "Hey! That didn't suck!"
It's the first of the twelve steps to actually admitting you're seventeen kinds of awesome, but hey, go slowly...
Posted by: tanita at May 14, 2009 06:59 AM
I was listening to a Fresh Air CD a while back, which was a compilation of interviews with commedians and the thing I came away with is that, though I'd always assumed they you're either born funny or you're not, all the commedians had to work YEARS to perfect stage presence, voice, timing, refine jokes; all the essentials. The CD also reinforced my long-held belief that commedians, like car salesmen, actors, and magicians, are people I never want to have to speak directly to or be alone in a room with.
Posted by: chuck at May 14, 2009 10:38 AM
Tanita, It's taken me 35 years to get over hearing my own voice, so, yeah, slowly.
Chuck, It always comforting to hear or read that these things are work for other people, too. It gives me hope when things go badly, that maybe I can do better next time.
Posted by: adrienne at May 14, 2009 03:04 PM
When I recorded you eating a bacon doughnut, I didn't realize that you rarely consent to being taped. You were a good sport!
I really want bacon right now. Every time I get an evening bacon craving, I visit WATAT.
--Farida
Posted by: Saints and Spinners at May 19, 2009 01:00 AM
Farida, That day I was bound and determined to get evidence of having had the bacon doughnut so I could brag on it to Jeffrey and Chuck. They were envious, too, so it was completely worth the effort. :) You were a good sport to go on such a wacky adventure. Between that and my quest for the Queen Bee Studio, I thought, "Well, now Farida knows I'm nuts."
Posted by: adrienne at May 19, 2009 03:15 PM
Hey, I love my ginkgo Queen Bee purse. And wallet. I get a kick out of seeing other people with their Queen Bee bags, too. For some reason, it's a thrill, like in Chester's Way when Chester, Wilson and Lilly all kvell over having Muscle Mouse cups.
Posted by: Saints and Spinners at May 20, 2009 11:43 AM