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July 05, 2009
Books in which Someone Gets Cancer
A few weeks ago, Meg Cabot wrote an interesting post on her blog about bibliotherapy. She didn’t use the word “bibliotherapy,” but that’s what she was talking about—calling into question what kind of reading people find therapeutic when coping with major woes. Cabot says that when her life was at its worst, she didn’t want to read about other people in her situation. Instead, she started reading romances.
This seemed fitting to me because when my life was at its worst, I started reading Meg Cabot.
Mostly, I’ve avoided books in which someone is dealing with cancer the same way I avoided the young widows craze (which conveniently happened right about when I became a young widow myself). My life has been story enough; I’d rather read about something I don’t know. Lately, though, I’ve been quite inadvertently going through a streak of cancer books. They can be hard to avoid. If you’re a writer, cancer is a great go-to disease because almost everyone knows someone who has had it.
For me, there is little surprise in cancer plots. When I read Jenny Han’s lovely The Summer I Turned Pretty, for instance, on the second or third page, one of the characters is taking a nap during the day. This was all the foreshadowing I needed to realize that a.) this character has cancer, and b.) the dénouement of the novel would involve everyone realizing how petty they’ve been when The Big News is revealed. This didn’t impact my enjoyment of the novel. The cancer was one of several subplots in a story that subtly explores how physical changes have a very real impact on the way you and the world interact, whether you want that to happen or not—something every girl has to deal with in her life. Han does a bang-up job exploring that, and the cancer ties in, since I’m not sure there’s anything outside of surgery that can change your appearance faster or more noticeably.
Stitches by David Small is another thing altogether. It’s an autobiographical graphic novel intended for an adult audience about Small’s journey from childhood to adulthood. It usually makes me angry when writers use cancer as a symbol, but Small gets the award for using the disease symbolically in a way that only inspires my sympathy and awe at the way he knows how to tell a story. Here, Small’s cancer symbolizes his parents not taking care of him, but that’s on account of the way Small got cancer because his parents were really not taking care of him. It is shocking and surprising, the way it should be. And in the end, the story is one of the most hopeful and inspiring ones I’ve read in a long time.
Nearly five years after my husband died, it’s nice to be able to read books in which someone gets cancer a little more objectively. I still can’t take it when someone’s spouse dies. I recently watched Up, for instance, which I loved but also found somewhat harrowing. (I’m still kind of pissed off about the way Carl left those chairs at the top of the falls, to tell you the truth of the matter. Someone should tell Pixar that it’s actually not super-healthy to get rid of every darned thing that belonged to the dead person. (Incidentally, my use of “pissed off” in a complete sentence is probably why Kristen won’t let her son read my blog. Oh yeah, Kristen. Zack told me. At first I was like, “Why?” Then I was like, “Oh, wait. Don’t answer that.” And, seriously, when did Zack get taller than me?) Ahem.) Of course, I think I am now inadvertently reading a book about a woman whose husband is going to die of cancer, and I can’t seem to put it down.
Books mentioned:
Han, Jenny. The Summer I Turned Pretty. NY: Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, 2009. (HC: 9781416968238)
Small, David. Stitches. NY: WW Norton & Co., 2009. (Forthcoming in September) (HC: 9780393068573)
Posted by adrienne at July 5, 2009 09:05 PM
Comments
I recently told a story at a bbq about giving Kelly a hickey (which I did un-romantically for the purpose of giving her hickey marks) and our friends, the hosts, told us that their daughter-in-law will probably never come back to their house if she knows we're coming now. I think the hosts would rather have us there anyway.
Posted by: chuck at July 6, 2009 12:58 AM
Anyone who doesn't want to hang out with you and Kelly is wrong.
Posted by: adrienne at July 6, 2009 04:07 AM
I have to agree with you that it's not healthy to get rid of everything that belonged to someone close to you after they die.I find it hard to throw out anything of Bri's, no matter how trivial. I know it must be a Mom thing, but if you remove everything that reminds you of them, then it's like they didn't exist at all,which would be devastating to me.I have so many good memories of Bri,that I tend not to dwell on the last days of his illness,because it pains me to go there, as it must you Adrienne, and you were there a lot more than I was. I don't mind reading a book about cancer or other terminal illnesses, I guess because I've been there and lived it, and know what it's like to deal with losing someone so close to you.And Adrienne you must be an expert on the subject,, though it certainly wasn't by choice.You're a very brave person in my book in how you handled it,and deserve all the kudo's in the world.It's a lot to face for one so young,because it's changed your whole life.All our thoughts and love go out to you, even 5years later,how fast the years go.....But the memories remain to sustain us.
Posted by: Bri's Mom at July 6, 2009 10:57 AM
Thank you, Linda. It helps that I have so much support. My thoughts and love go out to you, too.
Posted by: adrienne at July 6, 2009 02:14 PM
"If you’re a writer, cancer is a great go-to disease because almost everyone knows someone who has had it."
Oh, noes!
I did write a novel featuring a boy who had cancer, because I was telling a story for a friend, and the focus was on how his parents reacted (hint: SO not well. His father was a doctor.) However, he didn't die. I don't like the idea of it being a go-to disease. Should I write a novel about a disease that's really rare? Ugh. I don't like disease as a go-to, period.
I will never try and get that novel published. It suddenly all seems like SUCH a bad idea.
(Not just because of you. But because there are tons of "disease" novels. And though I love the novel, it's too... much. Maybe he'll just be Type 2 diabetic. That's darned bad enough, and pretty much epidemic.)
Posted by: tanita at July 6, 2009 05:02 PM
Well, I'd read your book either way, Tanita, and I bet I'd like it. Sometimes I worry that in my own writing, even here, I get more mileage out of cancer and being a widow than is proper. It's hard to know where to draw the lines. The angle on your story sounds interesting.
I think you wrote a thing on your blog at some point within the last few months about how you have to write about what you don't know. (Or am I making that up in my head? Sometimes--okay, a LOT of the time--I make things up in my head. It's very busy in there.) I think that's true for readers, too. I like when I can read about things I don't know much about but find some connection through the story. I think that's one of the reasons I like sci fi and fantasy so much--they're WAY outside my regular world, but I find things I can relate to there.
Posted by: adrienne at July 6, 2009 05:58 PM
Don't be so hard on yourself.Cancer took Brian from you.No wonder you hate it.And Linda,I think of him too.Every day.On holidays I wonder how you are doing.What can you say?He was a sweetheart.
Posted by: momster at July 6, 2009 06:49 PM
I generally avoid stories where people get cancer -- too many losses in my family, including a young cousin, though no one I lived with intimately, and I have a dear friend I nearly lost to it last year. There have only been a couple of exceptions where the book seemed worth it, one being Marisa de los Santos's "Belong to Me." I deeply loved her first book, "Love Walked In," with an eleven-year-old girl who in time of deep need wondered how Anne Shirley and Sara Crewe would've handled her situation. So I had to read the sequel, despite the mother-dying-of-cancer character (who I came to love, and therefore resent losing). It was still a marvelous book. But it was a rarity - and I won't give it to the friend to whom I gave "Love Walked In."
Posted by: Genevieve at July 6, 2009 06:58 PM
I haven't read any Marisa de los Santos, although I do love Anne Shirley and Sara Crewe. Sounds like an interesting book.
Posted by: adrienne at July 6, 2009 11:45 PM
Thanks to Momster and Adrienne for the nice things about Bri.........I know how much you both loved him!
Posted by: Bri's Mom at July 7, 2009 08:21 AM
I've been progressively going deaf since I was a child. I also had a brother who died when we were teens. I'm an author. People often say, "you should write about it!" If I did, it'd take over my emotional life. I write happy books. I write a happy blog. (http://www.hencam.com/henblog/) It doesn't mean I'm in denial- I've faced my demons and lead a thoughtful life. But, I believe that your life is where you look. I'd rather turn my attention to things of beauty and humor. I'm open to reading intelligent, challenging, transforming books and I'll even read books about death and disease to go there. But, worse than reading a book about these things is reading one that is contrived or packs an emotional punch just to do it. Give me Charlotte's Web any day. That book got it right.
Posted by: Terry Golson at July 7, 2009 05:08 PM