August 31, 2010

No Chipmunks Yet

I have a somewhat mixed reaction every time I check the trap and it's empty. I've added walnuts to the bait.

Posted by adrienne at 07:49 PM | Comments (0)

August 29, 2010

Valid Coping Mechanisms

“I had developed a new habit of diminishing everything in an attempt to soothe. Losing touch with reality seemed like a valid coping mechanism.”
-All the Way Home by David Giffels

I went to the Home Depot today looking to buy several things, including a Havahart Trap and a new pair of pruning sheers.

You know this can’t end well.

The reason for the Havahart Trap is because I’ve decided I’m going to catch some of the chipmunks that live in my yard and drive them to a new home far, far away. Now I know that I made endless fun of my neighbor when he tried to catch the local rabbits (which he was never able to do), and it is also true that the chipmunks and I used to be on friendly terms. But then the chipmunks got destructive, and now Someone has to do something. For a long time, I hoped Someone Else would do something, but, finally, I realized, as I so often eventually must, that Someone is me. And I have reason to believe I will be successful. My friend’s father enacted a successful Chipmunk Relocation Program at his house, and I just read a memoir in which the narrator does the same. If they can do it, so can I.

Of course, when the teenage employee wandering around the Depot saw me walking along with my Havahart Trap, he was like, “Do you need help?” And I was like, “No.” And he was like, “Are you SURE?” And I was like, “I’m fine.”

Maybe I should stop wearing my sandals with the flowers on them when I go to big box home improvement stores.

But, whatever, I have that thing all set up outside and am fully expecting to transport my first chipmunk tomorrow morning.

Anyway, my other major purchase was the new pair of pruning sheers. My father taught me how to use pruning sheers when I was fairly young, and so they are one tool I use with confidence. One could say I overuse them, because I managed to break the pair I have beyond repair, which is sad, because they were one of the first things I went out and bought when I first moved into this house. When I was looking for the new ones, though, I had that momentary madness that I’ve heard people talk about where they see a tool they were not looking for but decide they simply must have it now or the world will end. I mean, I’ve had this experience with shoes, but never a tool.

In this case, the tool was a hatchet.

And, no, I didn’t buy the hatchet, mostly because I don’t even know what one would use one for, aside from surviving in the Canadian wilderness after your plane crashes (which I am not planning to do) or throwing it repeatedly into a tree for target practice (which is what I saw myself doing). I was really having more of an aesthetic response to the hatchet—it was red, which would match my wheelbarrow, and it just looked really cool hanging there on the wall at the Home Depot. I’m sure it would look even cooler on the wall of my garage.

Might also discourage the chipmunks.

Posted by adrienne at 08:49 PM | Comments (7)

August 27, 2010

REAL Suggestions from the Children's Room

"Give More BOOKS"

"MORE SCOOBY-DOO BOOKS AND TAPES"

"No"

"for new Books: Amirecan Girl Books"

"Please buy fading Echoes by Erin Hunter."

"get all the Boxcar children movies"

"More computer more crafts more D V D more Blocks More rivers rbrpdge"

"More Books book Machine New pappit's"

"You can get how many things you want!"

Posted by adrienne at 11:33 AM | Comments (9)